Though his books and YouTube channel tend to focus on the Dick craving Pittsburgh of the heart of millennial men and women looking for love in an increasingly complicated digital agethe year-old Brit says he likes giving dating and relationship advice simply because it appeals to everyone. Or if they've already met someone special, how to make that relationship as good as it can be.
It's a universal subject," Hussey lookkng.
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In fact, Hussey believes the things we want most from our relationship remain the same from the first date to "I do" to binge watching Netflix on a boring Saturday night. We sat down with the love guru to find out what he knows about Swingers in Manaus the spark alive — and how to reignite it.
This interview was edited for clarity. Hussey: Phew, big question. I looking for lite relationship people don't want be alone.
Ultimately, we want to feel connected. We want to feel like there is someone who actually sees us in the world. That's the big thing: to be seen. How many people actually feel seen?
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That fof in Avatar: "I see you. Because when we feel seen, we feel accepted. We feel acknowledged for who we are. And very few times in our life do we feel seen.
BETTER: What are some ways we can use social media and other forms of communication to do 10 percent more?
But we have the potential, the hope of that, in a wonderful relationship. Hussey: I don't think the idea of being seen changes in its importance. I think it's always true. When relationships start to have problems, it's almost always because we don't feel seen by that person anymore. You can have someone in a year marriage, and they felt more understood by their partner ten years ,ite than they do today.
What is gaslighting? And how do you know if it's happening to you?
We assume our partners aren't growing. Our partners are growing. They're changing. They're evolving.
Relationship Lite | HuffPost
The mistake is thinking that they're not. I can't say I know you this year because I knew you three years ago. I have to be getting to know you all the time.
That's what it is to relationshipp see someone. I still need to be curious. Ten years into a marriage I should Recife sex be asking you, "What are your goals? So I don't think that urge to be seen changes.
But I think we looking for lite relationship that for granted if we've been together long enough. Familiarity isn't the same thing as true understanding. Hussey: People have to understand, and one of my good friends, Esther Perel, talks about this in her book, "Mating in Captivity"there is a big difference between love and erlationship. Love is something where we're coming together. We're getting closer. We're becoming one. And when you think about it, early on in a Horny nd women, everything is a gravitational lire towards being close.
But desire is the other component we need in a relationship. Desire exists in the space between two people.
And when you close down a relationship so there's no more space, now desire can't breathe. So it gets suffocated. And fo happens in long-term relationships.
Gaslighting: s and Tips for Seeking Help
You have a marriage that breaks down often, not because there's a lack of love, but because there's a lack of desire. And so the tricky part is we have to do what seems completely unnatural, which is to sometimes grow ourselves, or do something that helps our partner see us as mysterious again. And it could be something simple. It doesn't have to be taking time away from your partner. It could be your partner's never known you to dance, and tonight you take a salsa class.
Just enough for your partner to go, "Huh?
Hussey: Love is closeness. Desire is what creates closeness, right? Because the more we desire someone, the more we want to bring them closer. But desire is created in the space between two people.
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It's the mystery of getting to know someone. And that's not just true of an intimate relationship.
It's true of our brothers, our sisters, our mothers People in their relationships, they think, "I've got my person now. I did it.
Looking for lite relationship won. Now I'm going to focus on my job. Because that [relationship] will get average, and it will die if you take that approach. Your relationship has to be a place where there is zero arrogance. No sense of entitlement. Nothing you take for granted. It has to be a place where you completely kill your ego and come every day saying, "How can I be great for you?
Hussey: Any time you're with your partner and you assume that you know everything about them is a dangerous point in the relationship. That's when people get complacent and comfortable. Every day we should wake up and say, "How do I impress my partner today?
How could I be a little less predictable today? People get so grandiose in their mind about what they need to do to shake up their relationship. If I call Beautiful woman seeking casual sex Harrisburg Pennsylvania beautiful, but then today instead of saying beautiful, which I say all the time, I say, "You look hot today," just a change in language can make someone go, "You never call me hot.
That's different. But if you have stopped asking the questions, "How do I impress my partner? Because it means you're taking for granted that this relationship is forever. And although you may have said it's forever, nothing is forever unless you actually commit to working on it every day. The saddest part about it is often you see it in moments where damage has already looking for lite relationship done, or it's too late.
Or after they've broken up. Someone will break up with somebody, and after three months apart they suddenly get enough distance to see the space between them again, relationsbip to see them as who they are again, instead of just, "This is my person. If you want someone to see you new again, remember what it relatiosnhip you did at the beginning of the relationship.
You probably had hobbies. You probably had things that made you independently you. It's all about those things that we did in the beginning, and working them into a relationship. The key to an amazing relationship is never stop flirting with your partner. But people do. Proust said the the journey of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes, but in seeing with ffor eyes.
“Relationship Lite” A New Way to Date (Part 1)
Too many times relatiosnhip relationships people are seeking a new landscape when what they really need to be doing is seeing with new eyes. Hussey: I think people stop flirting with their partner because people are lazy. They're not doing the extra 10 percent that would make their relationship great. I don't have false modesty about this.
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In every relationship I'm ever in, I never want to be normal. I'm always going to want to give that extra 10 percent.
How do I not make it about me? How do I make it about you instead?
Most people will never, ever do the extra 10 percent because they're happy to be average. That's okay. But if you do the average amount, you're going to have an average relationship. How your brain responds to being in love Feb. Hussey: These days we have many different ways of communicating.